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I Went To The Women's March And Wasn't Able To Grab One Single Pussy

by Chip White


Posted on February 13, 2017


No pussy grabbing allowed

It was about time a real man took office. The United States needs a leader who does not bend over for anyone and takes control. This country is for men who know their place, and Donald J. Trump embodies that notion. I know people were very angry when Trump made a statement about grabbing women by the pussy, but that is just something guys say.

There was a time when women could take a little harmless joke or a little flirtation. I mean, how are we supposed to let a woman know that we are interested? Do they really expect us to do the stuff they see in romantic comedies? Those stories are fairy tales; real men do not act that way. I was glad to see that these girls finally came around and did this women's march after the inauguration. I knew women understood that guys like us are not trying to offend anyone but rather put them in their place. Men were created by God, and women were just put here to be our helpers. Men first, women second.

Now, I knew I would find some women at the parade. I decided to go down there and test the waters. I was thinking about all the lovely pussies I might grab. I think I am a pretty cool guy. All I have to do is bring my A-game, and the women just come running.

I got on the train and headed to the march, and it was very crowded. Everyone was bumping up against each other, which was pretty uncomfortable because a few women that Donny would rate a two touched me by accident. No self-respecting man wants an ugly woman. I found the strength to shake the experience off. I managed to find a seat and was waiting for a good looking woman to get on so I could offer her my seat. Girls like to be treated with a little chivalry before they get some good lovin'.

I had no luck. Every girl that passed was either two years old or heading to the march with a boyfriend. Some women were travelling with girlfriends, too, so I was not able to find me a girl before getting to the march, but I remained hopeful.

I was trying to figure out some good lines that might work for these ladies. As I was thinking, I heard some girl on the train talk about how much she hates our president. I tell you, I almost lost it, but I kept my cool. You know how the liberal media is. Everyone is camera-happy nowadays and hoping to catch a hysterical Trump supporter so that they can use it against the president. I was not going to be that guy. I asked myself, "What would Donald do?" Of course, Donny would stay focused on grabbing pussies, and there would be plenty at the march.

We were finally getting close to the march, and I was getting excited. I started carrying Tic-Tacs around when I heard Donny uses them before talking to a woman. Now, this does not mean that Trump's breath stinks. It just means he is a gentleman who wants to give girls a mint-flavored kiss. I popped a few of those bad boys in my mouth as we were approaching. I had to get ready for some tongue action because I am a gentleman, too.

I swear, many of the girls heading to the march seriously needed to stop in the little girl's room before they left the train station. Some of these girls had work clothes on, which makes sense. They forgot their place and didn't take care of themselves before going out in public. Women should look their best at all times. It is clear that some women have not gotten the message. Sad thing is that some of them were kind of pretty. I would bang them if they took a shower first and fixed their hair.

I continued to move with the crowd, toward the march, and I began to realize that this march was not for women who were supporting Trump but rather against him. I noticed some despicable signs that I wanted to rip apart. I heard chants coming from hateful women and sore losers. Most of these girls probably voted for Hillary just because she has a vagina.

Damn, though, realizing this whole thing really put a splinter in my jewels, but I was not about to let some silly march stop me from getting some. We may disagree politically, but a woman still wants a real man to grab her by the pussy, even if she is acting like she hates our president. Besides, there were a lot of women at this march. I am telling you, it seemed like every girl on the planet was there. Trump might have lost if all these women actually voted.

Still, like Donny might say, keep your eye on the hot chicks and go take care of business. I started rethinking my lines because these girls probably wanted to hear some liberal bull crap. I talked to a few girls and, of course, I started with how I wanted Hillary to win. I almost threw up saying it, but sometimes you have do a little sweet talking to these girls. I'm sure that all the girls I talked to were lesbians because none of them would budge.

I started to feel strange about being there because there were cameras and people taking pictures all over the place. I did not want any of my buddies to see me standing in the middle of all this mess. There were some guys there, but they all look like sissies to me with leashes tied around their balls, which the women were holding.

I left that stupid march as soon as I thought about all this. These women are just a bunch of cry babies who should be at home cooking meals or changing a diaper.

Written By Chip White

Chip White is a proud and opinionated American. He is a prominent womanizer in his community and offers first-hand experiences online as a blogger.

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